we are faring...

Paul and I are doing alright. I think our getaway was worth it. I am suprised at how well we are doing being one income again. I am ready for this store to open so I can work it. I am ready for my daily breaks from the kids.

Blake is acting better. Sweet Tator is trying.

I am loving this level of med. All is happy. I am still however in pain and am trying to deal while we get things figured out for next weeks start of new meds. I cant wait for some relife. My kids are troopers they are really trying be good. Paul is dealing well with my late nights of discomfort.

I am hanging in there. May is starting to close in on us. I am missing my dad like crazy. Things are happening that I know he would be so proud of and yet we cant share the joy togeather. I am sad we cant. This year will be doing nates birthday outside the home. I cant even think of it being in the home. I am trying hard. I am crying less and less. Though brothers and sisters killed me this week. I couldnt help but wonder if he was that scared when his heart attack was happening. If he was all alone in the frigthend state. I just plain old miss him. I know blake is too. He starts tball soon and keeps asking about pop pop. It kills me.

I just breath and remember that everything does happen for a reason. Love is patient and kind right?

me me me

I am doing alright. I got let go from work a week early. Apparently they dont like the fact that you have given notice. I say whatever lol. Paul and I have been continuing with our once a week out to dinner. We are loving that. Not sure if we are going out this week or not. I hope. I enjoy the quite time. the boys are enjoying havin mom home and no babysitters.so it is nice.

We are still working on getting the laundry mat going. Cant wait for that to open.We will be living the american dream right? Open your own business and have your money work for you. At least that is what will happen soon enough. I will like that if i have to i can bring the kids to work with me. I can deal with the kids and get stuff done when needed. I will have the flexability. best part i will be boss. Woo Hoo!

we are excited for that. We are waiting to hear on Kaden what is happening there. We havent heard yet. We are jumpin hoops and i hope all for nought.

our weekend away

Paul and I had so much fun away. We were like a bunch of kids. We went out to a club for a bit and had fun there. Then i had a nice soak in the jacuzzi loved that being in the room.

They deliverd sweets and champange to us. It was awesome. Off to dinner we went to texas roadhouse. I had the prime rib and he the ribeye.. It was awesome. so tender and cooked just right. Might be my new fav. Back to the hotel we went. I had another soak. I forgot to mention before dinner we went to the hotel resturant and had kick ass coffee..made friends with the bar tender. he was great. We went to the bar for dessert. We shared ice cream in these cin/sugar bowl and it had carmel and chocolate syrup. Awesome. We had coffee. There was a nice guy behind us. He had waved. Apparently listened to us about not having kids. Next thing we know the guy was picking up our tab. It was awesome and i was touched.

Sunday night I went to kid rock with my mother and it rocked. endof story...
thankful fo rmy time away...

a blow to the ego

With all the confidence i have been gaing i have had a blow to my ego. I applied for a position. went interviewed and was dismissed before even really truly being interviewed. I was asked a few questions and then told i was over qualified. ouch!
I have given my two week notice. I like sleeping next to my husband at night. I like being with my kids. I cant handle the broken sleep. I am so tired and so drained. So I am on the prowl for a new job. April the laundromat should be opened. I am excited. Things are changing and changing for the good :)

some music i am loving lately

i absolutly love Pinks new cd. I think i have about worn it out.. Paul is hating it at this point... Pay back for making me hate trace adkins

this is I dont believe you


i love the so what music video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJZDsJ8UU64

i just love jason mraz

confidence...

It seems mine is slowly rising. i dont know where it is coming from. I remember when paul and i were first dating and how i would make sure my whole outfit matched... even if that ment going to vickis or freddys and buying new matching sets... then we got married and had kids and it was just crazy from there. I noticed more weight gain and more of me losing myself. I cant describe the feeling of losing yourself and your self worth. it is like you are taken into this dark vortex and you have to fight your way out.

I have been doing that this last 19 months. I had my surgery. I have been taking better of myself. I am finding my inner beauty and working on accepting my outer self.It has been long. I am so tired of having to work so hard. I am so proud of where I have come to.

I dont know where this coming from but i will take it...

Hoping for a better 09

We went out for new years eve to fire and ice or something like that. It was so much fun. I will never drink like that again though. Everytime i turned around I had another red Very good drink but dangerous it is like a juice. We also danced the night away. we had a blast. At midnight we enjoyed a kiss and a slow dance.

Then friday hit and Paul has found a new job working for a dealership in danielson. I cant wait to see if this is finally our big break. No he hasnt forgotten about the laundry mat but right now this is the right move for our family. I have put my resume out to other places. I need more hours. In this day and late in the game families need two people incomes. We are learining that.

so far no big stresses :)