our weekend away

Paul and I had so much fun away. We were like a bunch of kids. We went out to a club for a bit and had fun there. Then i had a nice soak in the jacuzzi loved that being in the room.

They deliverd sweets and champange to us. It was awesome. Off to dinner we went to texas roadhouse. I had the prime rib and he the ribeye.. It was awesome. so tender and cooked just right. Might be my new fav. Back to the hotel we went. I had another soak. I forgot to mention before dinner we went to the hotel resturant and had kick ass coffee..made friends with the bar tender. he was great. We went to the bar for dessert. We shared ice cream in these cin/sugar bowl and it had carmel and chocolate syrup. Awesome. We had coffee. There was a nice guy behind us. He had waved. Apparently listened to us about not having kids. Next thing we know the guy was picking up our tab. It was awesome and i was touched.

Sunday night I went to kid rock with my mother and it rocked. endof story...
thankful fo rmy time away...

a blow to the ego

With all the confidence i have been gaing i have had a blow to my ego. I applied for a position. went interviewed and was dismissed before even really truly being interviewed. I was asked a few questions and then told i was over qualified. ouch!
I have given my two week notice. I like sleeping next to my husband at night. I like being with my kids. I cant handle the broken sleep. I am so tired and so drained. So I am on the prowl for a new job. April the laundromat should be opened. I am excited. Things are changing and changing for the good :)

some music i am loving lately

i absolutly love Pinks new cd. I think i have about worn it out.. Paul is hating it at this point... Pay back for making me hate trace adkins

this is I dont believe you


i love the so what music video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJZDsJ8UU64

i just love jason mraz

confidence...

It seems mine is slowly rising. i dont know where it is coming from. I remember when paul and i were first dating and how i would make sure my whole outfit matched... even if that ment going to vickis or freddys and buying new matching sets... then we got married and had kids and it was just crazy from there. I noticed more weight gain and more of me losing myself. I cant describe the feeling of losing yourself and your self worth. it is like you are taken into this dark vortex and you have to fight your way out.

I have been doing that this last 19 months. I had my surgery. I have been taking better of myself. I am finding my inner beauty and working on accepting my outer self.It has been long. I am so tired of having to work so hard. I am so proud of where I have come to.

I dont know where this coming from but i will take it...

Hoping for a better 09

We went out for new years eve to fire and ice or something like that. It was so much fun. I will never drink like that again though. Everytime i turned around I had another red Very good drink but dangerous it is like a juice. We also danced the night away. we had a blast. At midnight we enjoyed a kiss and a slow dance.

Then friday hit and Paul has found a new job working for a dealership in danielson. I cant wait to see if this is finally our big break. No he hasnt forgotten about the laundry mat but right now this is the right move for our family. I have put my resume out to other places. I need more hours. In this day and late in the game families need two people incomes. We are learining that.

so far no big stresses :)

good bye 2008

A day early but with all that will be going on tomorrow. i decided to ake the quite and write. I say good by 2008. This ohad to be one of the worst years of my life. We have had to say goodbye to so many things. It has been a test in our faith and family. I think we will be ok. I think things will have to look up from here on out. I am ready for it to be one and over with.

in 2009 I am committing to the following

- rememberin that it is ok to have me time
- to spend at least a half hour a day of quality uninterupted time with my children each day
- to remember to show my husband how much i adore and love him
-to continue my sliming down journey and exercise daily
-to keep things oraganized. this was a strenght until losing my dad and is now just plain driving me batt.
to maintain a proper budget

so there are my committments.
I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday

so heartbroken

My heart is so broken. I am sitting her sobbing. I dont what makes me more mad.
1. that i gave up my parts so willingly
2. that my kids are being judged so harshly
3.that i have held out hope for over a year now that we would be placed and now that is gone.

I may look into other alturnitives who knows. I am done with department of family and services.

merry fucking christmas to my family