so heartbroken

My heart is so broken. I am sitting her sobbing. I dont what makes me more mad.
1. that i gave up my parts so willingly
2. that my kids are being judged so harshly
3.that i have held out hope for over a year now that we would be placed and now that is gone.

I may look into other alturnitives who knows. I am done with department of family and services.

merry fucking christmas to my family