divorced.... some other stuff....

from a few friends and i feel like a new woman. Funny how my heart has lightened. How my out look has changed.

i am glad I did what i needed too. How long do you let someone walk all over you? I was letting it happen. I wasnt sure why. I know why now though. I didnt want to have to work on my own stuff. If I had someone elses then I could avoid my own dirty work. That is no way to live. I am still in my own personal prison.

I have started my bucket list.
-i want to accomplish half my weight loss goal by the end of the year
- i want to be able to enjoy the holidays and miss my dad very little. i know this is what he would want
- to create meaningful lasting relationships
-to travel to somewhere fun
-to make sure that i have at least 15 minutes a day by myself to unwind
-to set my boundries
-to take time to write

there are other more personal ones. I have gotten a gym membership and hired a personal trainer so that is cool. i am going to start working with her next month. she is away this week.
i am planning a few trips. some with family some with the boys home by themselves.

We are going away frist weekend of december with some family friends. i am excited about that. i cant wait to go. I am sad that my mom is chosing to sit out. i really miss my mom. she is not the same. i know why. i just want a mom who has a intrest in her family and doing things with her family. I invited her to go away with us and there was no intrest what so ever. that bothers me why i dont know. my old mom would have been for it. My dad maybe not but maybe so becasue he and the boys could go skiing.

so that is where we are at