What is it about me that I get shafted?

I have a "friend" who for one reason or another always has some reason as to why she cant hang out. I had said the night before how much I needed this and was looking foward to it. I have been having a hard time with everything lately and it would have been nice to just cuddle up on the couch with a blanket a movie and bowl of popcorn and just laugh. I need to laugh right now. I havent done it in so very long. To the point where my sides hurt. I need one of those nights. Nope I think what pisses me off more is that I dont even get a phone call. I get a message on myspace. Am I not worthy of the phone call? I am just tired of my feelings being trampled over. I dont understand why it is so hard to find a good friend. One that doesnt live miles and miles away. Maybe it is me. Do I stink? Do I suck that bad as a friend. Well if I do I am truly sorry. In case you havent noticed I have 2 kids, a husband, A mom, Brothers, School and so much more. We are dealing with greiving people. I try and make time to send a email, a card in the mail, do a quick phone call. I didnt realize this was such a huge issue. People know they can call day or night with an issue. I would listen and help when I can. Yet for some reason my feelings dont matter. I am just so hurt :(

In other news my trip to California is looking better and better. We will be staying outside of LA. I cant wait. I am so excited for a girls week. Gives me something to look foward to. In just a few days we will be leaving for OH. I cant wait. I am so excited. At least i know i will laugh. Five kids and preggo lady how can you not.

Work is good. I enjoy them. It will be strange with how my schedual is falling for things to be a bit crazy. That i wont see them consistantly.